Regrets

I have many regrets. I can remember specific moments in my life when I wish I had acted differently - when I wish I stood up for a friend, been kinder to a stranger, or just believed in myself a bit more. My mother, however, doesn't believe in having regrets, as she claims to have learnt something from every missed opportunity or poor decision made. While I sincerely believe in hindsight being twenty-twenty, there are some things that I make a priority so that I don't repeat the same sort of mistakes. They are simple, easy actions to take that might help when you just can't make up your mind. Remember: when in doubt, simplify, and listen to the part of you that knows that you are the one who has to live with your decision. So here are a couple of ideas for avoiding having regrets down the line:

1. If you get the chance or have the inclination to travel, do it. I recommend Budget Travel magazine.
2. Don't let fashion magazines dictate your style.

3. Be as kind to strangers as possible.
4. Say thank you whenever you get chance.
5. Don't diss your parents in front of people.
6. Stop worrying about the test/exam/paper after it's done.
7. Communicate your feelings, you have the right to make yourself heard.
8. Don't spend time with people who only talk about themselves.
9. Never anticipate that everyone will agree with you.
10. Be nicer to your sibling(s) and cousin(s), they're the ones you have representing your family in the future...and you'll also be forced to spend time with them, so you may as well have them on your side.
11. Don't categorize yourself. You're more than a "nerd" or a "jock".

12. Make plans regarding transportation beforehand.
13. Drink more water.
14. You don't have anything to prove (just because you're a runner, does not mean you have to run a marathon to be considered "hardcore").
15. Just because you ask for advice, does not mean that you have to take it.
16. Clean out your closet every season and donate what you don't want anymore. Less clutter and good vibes for giving to those less fortunate.

17. Lend a hand whenever you can, unsolicited help is always appreciated.
18. Stand up for your friends and family, they make you happy and they deserve your respect (and the respect of others).
19. Go home when you're tired.
20. Put in just a little more effort than you originally intended.
21. Don't wait by the phone and make a point of calling someone if you say you will.
22. Don't make apologies for what makes you happy.
23. Sometimes make a point of going out of your way to help someone.
24. Do not cancel plans at the last minute - it makes you look like a flake.
25. Don't make impulsive solutions. Think before you act.

"Wasting" time

A huge topic that I've wanted to address for a while now is the concept of wasting time. 

Productivity: 

pro·duc·tiv·i·ty

  [proh-duhk-tiv-i-tee, prod-uhk‐]

noun

1.

the quality, state, or fact of being able to generate, create,enhance, or bring forth goods and services: The productivity of thegroup's effort surprised everyone.

I told a coworker today that the highlight of my weekend was going to Fairmount Park and reading my book (The Husband's Secret). Her response was to question how I could justify "wasting" an afternoon outside. I was totally taken aback. Waste my afternoon? I was absolutely flabbergasted because to me, my Sunday afternoon wasn't wasted, I totally embraced the free time to myself. I explained to her that I was entirely in the moment when I was reading, so how could it have been time wasted? I went on to describe how pleasurable reading is, what a gloriously simple pleasure it is.

If I'm enjoying my time, even if it means letting an entire afternoon "slip by", I'm content. I could have done a slew of random tasks around the house (laundry, clean the kitchen, etc), but to me it would have been a bigger waste of time to race around doing chores than to take two hours to myself to escape into my book. It's the same as watching the sunset, lying in bed listening to your favorite song, building sandcastles, moseying around the farmers' market, playing peek-a-boo, admiring a beautiful flower garden, sitting in front of a fire, relaxing in front of your favorite movie - all of these things might be considered by people like my coworker as "time-wasters", but really, if you're in the moment and simply enjoying yourself, it adds immeasurable joy to your life. 

Click here for a long list of 101 Simple Pleasures compiled by Andrew Reiser at Huffington Post.

Five Things to Make Time For NOW

I have a challenge: for a week try to make time for the things we so often overlook. I am taking a cue this week from the Thought Catalog, specifically their article: 18 Things Everyone Should Start Making Time For Again.

I have decided to list five here that I find to be the most important. Let me tell you why.

1. Writing things by hand. 

As an English major and a word fiend I am absolutely obsessed with correspondence in written form. The eCards just don’t say “Happy Birthday!” like a blank card filled in with sincere birthday wishes from a close acquaintance. I find it endearing when the handwriting is slightly sloppy, because at least it’s real and most importantly original. My affinity for handwritten letters and cares probably stems from the fact that my extended family lives in Scotland. I treasure postcards from my grandparents and I get just plain giddy when an envelope has “airmail” written on it. I get huge satisfaction in knowing that someone I care about took the time to reach out to me. It harkens back to a time when there was no such thing as an “I love you” text message or a “virtual” hug.

2. Savoring time to do nothing. 

I studied abroad in Barcelona during college and I was absolutely dumbfounded by the natives’ abilities to take an afternoon nap after lunch (traditionally known as the ciesta). It was bonkers to me to just stop and rest when there was still daylight left, which to me meant that there was still work to be done. The ciesta began as a method of helping aid digestion after the big lunchtime meal, but now it represents an important time to pause and enjoy the beauty of doing nothing. What would you do if you had an hour everyday after lunch of leisure time? At the onset it might make you feel skittish and anxious, but over time (as it did for me), you might tend to relax into the tranquility of having a sense of freedom to do as you please. Recommended reading - The Art of Doing Nothing: Simple Ways to Make Time for Yourself by Veronique Vienne.

3. Disconnecting from technology.

I am one of the first to admit that my cell phone is practically another appendage of mine. I am never more than a foot away from being able to glance down at the screen (sadly even when it’s on silent mode and I’m just overcome with the desire to see if somehow I missed a text message or email alert). So here is the challenge: we leave our cell phones at home for at least several hours. It might make your skin itch not being able to check-in, but instead think about being present in real life, as opposed to logging your location on social media.

4. Putting personal health and well being first.

You cannot do anything if you are not healthy. (Duh, I know.) But how often have you actually considered what devastating consequences there might be if you were suddenly diagnosed with a chronic illness? It could happen, so put yourself first. If you need to leave the party on the early side because you know you require at least 8 hours of sleep then do it. If you get restless throughout the day, make sure to schedule walking breaks. You are in charge of your mental and physical wellness. As an adult with freewill it is your prerogative to address when your needs are not being met or if you are suffering at the expense of others.

5. Stopping to talk to people throughout the day. 

I believe that this is the most important one that we should all make more time for. It takes no more than 45 seconds to walk over to a coworker’s cubicle and say “bless you” after you hear him sneeze. Nor does it take any time to call your mom and wish her a happy day. A text message is obviously faster, but we need to remember what it means to communication verbally. If we rely solely on technology for our social interactions we may as well be robots ourselves. 

I'm FRUGAL, not cheap...

"A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone." - Henry David Thoreau 

I am often regarded as cheap. I don't go out to eat a lot (hello free samples and work party leftovers for lunch), I walk whenever I can, I get the bulk of my groceries at bargain warehouses, and I haven't had a TV since I moved to Philadelphia about two years ago. I enjoy living with this (modest) level of simplicity that includes not relying on ludicrously expensive city parking garages when I know that Septa will suffice, and not needing to be in first class when coach will get me there in the same amount of time. And I like knowing that my paycheck is going to buying stamps to send homemade cards to my family abroad instead of feeding my old addiction of frequenting Starbucks once (okay fine, sometimes twice) a day. (This article on how to crack the specialty beverage habit was key.)

Here are some super easy, incredibly basic ways to add frugality to your life while ALSO adding significant value to your routine:

1. Get rid of your TV - I promise, between Hulu and the abundance of ways to stream shows off the web you will save money AND have the added incentive of not wasting an afternoon on mind-numbing reality shows
2. Instead of going out to eat, allow each of your friends $5 to spend on groceries and then prepare a meal with only what you guys purchased and what you have in your kitchen already
3. Instead of going to the movies rent one instead and then post about it on an online movie-rating forum (like Rotten Tomatoes)
4. Don't just "go to the mall" - the temptation to make unnecessary purchases will go through the roof, instead go to a free museum
5. Ride your bike instead of driving (extra points if you wear a helmet and smile at old people as you go by)

These are just a few ideas. Come up with five of your own and share them below if you'd like.

Busy work vs. working efficiently

Another weekend of sleeping in and making time for ourselves is gone, and with it goes the sense of "control" that we have over our schedules. Tomorrow we go back to the 9am-5pm routine, whether it be in an office environment or if it means racing around to check off dozens of errands from the to-do list or looking after children.

It begs the question: 

how much of the busy work that we do on a regular basis is actually worth doing?

For the large majority of the population going to work is absolutely necessary, so by no means do I advocate giving up your job to live your passion - that is the ideal goal, but let's be honest, it's unrealistic. For all of the wrong reasons we equate a heightened sense of stress with a feeling of productivity. We are wasting our time thinking that busyness is somehow beneficial to our jobs. The heightened sense of superiority at having a mile-long to-do list is a fallacy. There is a massive difference between working a lot and working efficiently.

Having a huge amount of work staring you in the face can be debilitating.

Instead we need to simplify our routines by breaking down the assignments we have in front of us. 

You can start with the following questions from LifeHealthPRO:

1. Do I need to do this? (If your answer is “no,” then delegate the task.)
2. Do I need to do this tomorrow? (If your answer is “no,” then remove it from your to-do list.)
3. Does this task add value to me or my organization? (If your answer is “no,” then question why you are doing it.)

Tomorrow when you begin an assignment give yourself a (reasonable) deadline so that you can PRIORITIZE what needs to get done right away. Adding ten more items to your to-do list is an exercise in futility. You can use that extra ten or fifteen minutes to call your spouse or best friend and ask him or her how the day is going. Doesn't that sound more rewarding?

Strawberries

The number one marker of the summer is a ripe, juicy, ridiculously red strawberry. 

And all you have to do is buy them at your local grocery store. So not only are you getting the first, subtle (but important) reminders that the polar vortexes of the past few months are behind us, you get that taste of truly pure, sweet delicious summer in berry form. There couldn't be simpler way to usher in the summer than with a big bowl of fresh strawberries. I suggest savoring every last one while listening to your favorite music or a really good book. A pack of berries might cost $4, but the value of quietly welcoming in the summer is priceless.

Or you could try making an exquisite homemade ice cream 

BURSTING with the essence of the summer.

Nothing makes me happier than when I see spring and summer produce pop up at farmers' markets and in the grocery store. Only then has the season changed - when the (actual) fruits of the earth appear. Take time to celebrate the change in seasons by munching on the fruits of mother earth's labor. They are delicious, any way you slice them. 

And just FYI - They pack quite a nutritional punch too.

The value is tremendous, the cost is nothing.

So often we focus on the cost of what we want that we lose sight of the value. 

But how remarkable is it that you can walk outside, look at the clouds, and actively recognize that you are a part of the universe. You are one of billions, true, but here's an idea to put you at home in your body when you feel like you're just a hamster on a wheel.

1. Do as the picture above says, go outside

2. Squeeze your shoulders up to your ears and then release (repeat five times - or hey, go nuts, it's surprisingly soothing, so keep going if you want to)

3. Take fifteen deep breaths 

4. Rub your ear lobes and smile

5. Go back inside and call or text or email someone who you haven't spoken to in a while just to say hi, how are you, I don't want you to forget that I'm here for you

This is one (entirely free) way to feel more connected to the universe. 

The value is tremendous, the cost is nothing.